The Gifts of Marriage – Companionship

Good morning, Five Minute Families. “Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together today.” While June may not be the most popular month for weddings, it is special to us and many of our family and friends as the month when they entered into that sweet institution of marriage.

Why is marriage called an institution? Marriage is one of the many social institutions recognized by researchers and studies of social relationships. Social institutions are the foundations of a society, meeting various human needs and functions. In Genesis 2:18, God established the institution of marriage as a biblical foundation when He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” And again in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Marriage brings the couple many gifts and blessings, and for the next three weeks we want to discuss three of those gifts as identified by Biola University’s Center for Marriage and Relationships – companionship, passion, and purpose. Today, let’s focus in on companionship.

I love how God fully understood the need for companionship in marriage. Deuteronomy 24:5 points out that “[w]hen a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken.” Companionship requires spending time with someone, and intentionally working on the other elements of companionship will help a five-minute couple build a strong, God-honoring marriage.

Reciprocity – Reciprocity is the give and take for mutual benefit. Just as Ephesians 5:21 reminds us that we are to submit to one another, Ephesians 5:33 also points out that husbands are to love their wives as themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. We must be willing to give what our spouse needs and accept what we need from our spouse.

Support – Supporting one another is necessary in all human interactions and no less so than in the marriage relationship. We cannot take one another for granted and drain the other’s emotional resources, yet we must also be willing to go through the tough times together. John 13:14 tells us to serve one another, and in Acts 6 we are reminded yet again to care for one another.

Ease – We must choose to cultivate an environment of ease for our spouse. We must begin by avoiding power dynamics. 1 Corinthians 11:11 states, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.” We are not talking about biblical roles and headship here; we are not overthrowing those, merely pointing out that those God-ordained characteristics are not about power but about bringing Him glory which requires men to love and sacrifice as Christ as well as for women to submit to that loving and sacrificial leading. Specifically speaking, we are not to nag one another (see Proverbs 21:9) and we are to build one another up (see Romans 15:2).

Vulnerability – Companionship lends itself to vulnerability. Privileged information is shared and personal feelings are disclosed. We all sin, and no one knows that more than the spouse we share a home with. 1 Peter 4:8 cautions us, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” And, Proverbs 17:9 prompts us that “[w]hoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” We deepen trust and companionship when our vulnerability is not weaponized against us in marriage.

And, lastly, predictability – No, we are not referring to falling into a rut, but we do need to know predictably that our spouse is indeed our companion, one on whom we can rely for time, attention, and trust-worthy behavior. We must share clear expectations and expect an ever-deepening level of communication and connection. As Mark 10:9 warns, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” When we protect our marriage companionship by relying on one another to be there when we need them, our predictability builds trust, friendship, and joy.

Companionship in marriage takes effort and intentional choices in reciprocity, support, ease, vulnerability, and predictability. If you have struggled in any of these areas, pray that God would reveal where to begin to rebuild the companionship in your marriage – for your good and His glory.

Thank you for listening and be blessed!

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.

The Gifts of Marriage – Companionship

Good morning, Five Minute Families. “Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together today.” While June may not be the most popular month for weddings, it is special to us and many of our family and friends as the month when they entered into that sweet institution of marriage.

Why is marriage called an institution? Marriage is one of the many social institutions recognized by researchers and studies of social relationships. Social institutions are the foundations of a society, meeting various human needs and functions. In Genesis 2:18, God established the institution of marriage as a biblical foundation when He said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” And again in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Marriage brings the couple many gifts and blessings, and for the next three weeks we want to discuss three of those gifts as identified by Biola University’s Center for Marriage and Relationships – companionship, passion, and purpose. Today, let’s focus in on companionship.

I love how God fully understood the need for companionship in marriage. Deuteronomy 24:5 points out that “[w]hen a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken.” Companionship requires spending time with someone, and intentionally working on the other elements of companionship will help a five-minute couple build a strong, God-honoring marriage.

Reciprocity – Reciprocity is the give and take for mutual benefit. Just as Ephesians 5:21 reminds us that we are to submit to one another, Ephesians 5:33 also points out that husbands are to love their wives as themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. We must be willing to give what our spouse needs and accept what we need from our spouse.

Support – Supporting one another is necessary in all human interactions and no less so than in the marriage relationship. We cannot take one another for granted and drain the other’s emotional resources, yet we must also be willing to go through the tough times together. John 13:14 tells us to serve one another, and in Acts 6 we are reminded yet again to care for one another.

Ease – We must choose to cultivate an environment of ease for our spouse. We must begin by avoiding power dynamics. 1 Corinthians 11:11 states, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.” We are not talking about biblical roles and headship here; we are not overthrowing those, merely pointing out that those God-ordained characteristics are not about power but about bringing Him glory which requires men to love and sacrifice as Christ as well as for women to submit to that loving and sacrificial leading. Specifically speaking, we are not to nag one another (see Proverbs 21:9) and we are to build one another up (see Romans 15:2).

Vulnerability – Companionship lends itself to vulnerability. Privileged information is shared and personal feelings are disclosed. We all sin, and no one knows that more than the spouse we share a home with. 1 Peter 4:8 cautions us, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” And, Proverbs 17:9 prompts us that “[w]hoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” We deepen trust and companionship when our vulnerability is not weaponized against us in marriage.

And, lastly, predictability – No, we are not referring to falling into a rut, but we do need to know predictably that our spouse is indeed our companion, one on whom we can rely for time, attention, and trust-worthy behavior. We must share clear expectations and expect an ever-deepening level of communication and connection. As Mark 10:9 warns, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” When we protect our marriage companionship by relying on one another to be there when we need them, our predictability builds trust, friendship, and joy.

Companionship in marriage takes effort and intentional choices in reciprocity, support, ease, vulnerability, and predictability. If you have struggled in any of these areas, pray that God would reveal where to begin to rebuild the companionship in your marriage – for your good and His glory.

Thank you for listening and be blessed!

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.

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