Good morning, Five Minute Families. You have heard us mention accountability in past devotionals. The reality is that we will each give an account to God for our actions. Matthew 12:36-37 says, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” But, God, thankfully, does not leave us spinning alone in the wind to figure out what we should and should not do. We have His word. We have the Holy Spirit. And, we have one another. Galatians 6:1-5 reminds us, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.”

Accountability allows us to bear one another’s burdens. We each must be willing to take responsibility for our own choices, and loving each other through that process is so important in our Christian walk. A book our church has used to help guide us into an organized discipleship program called Growing Up includes eight accountability questions for a small group to use. Likewise, our pastor recently mentioned how he and his mentoring pastor help to hold each other accountable by asking two questions each week – what are you preaching about this week and what are you struggling with this week? As Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

So, how would an immediate family work toward accountability without judgment and condemnation? Here are five accountability questions we suggest for parents AND children to ask one another.

1. What are you studying in God’s word?
2. What you have said or done today to bring God glory? The yes/no version would be ‘has what you have said or done today brought God glory?’ Depending on the age of the child you are talking to, the yes/no version may be simpler.
3. What are you struggling with?
4. What do you need to ask forgiveness for, or what do you need to give forgiveness for?
5. How have you loved others as yourself today? And, a follow-up to that might be: What opportunities have you missed that you may try to take next time?

There are, of course, many more questions or ways to word questions, but, no matter what questions you ask, if possible, try to avoid only asking straight yes or no questions. Ask open-ended questions to allow more open, deeper, and honest responses. Parents, especially, remember that we are trying to focus on getting our children to think more deeply about what motivates their actions. We may already know the answers to the questions, but by asking the child to engage their own thought process to formulate more than a yes or no, we enhance their ability to take ownership of their beliefs and actions.

As James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” Remember that we are not trying to convict one another. We are trying to heal and guide, and much prayer before, during, and after a time of accountability discussion is very necessary.

Just like with any new skill, if you have not previously had an attitude and habit of biblical accountability in a loving, one anothering way, these questions may seem forced or unnatural. Find a way to make them your own. Sometimes, changing the wording, the tense, the cadence, or the specificity will help. Mostly, find a way to have a heart that desires drawing others to Christ and being drawn to Christ yourself in order to have more Christ-like beliefs, thoughts, and actions.

Please recognize that we are describing accountability time in a typical household – specifically, husbands and wives, parents and minor children or young adult children still in the household. I would not randomly walk up to a church acquaintance and ask “hey, what sin are you struggling with this week?” Accountability requires not just relationship but responsibility. The relationship should also be one that makes sense for the stage and season of life. Thankfully, home life is a time for illustrating those relationships your children will hopefully choose to participate in with other mature Christians as they grow.

We do thank you for joining us today. We hope that you and your family choose to deepen your relationships by taking five minutes scattered throughout your day to build one another up. Be blessed!