Grief and Gratitude

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We have replayed the three grief devotions that Kim wrote three years ago after the death of her stepfather in order to give our family time to grieve the loss of her father, Ken Willis.

My father died almost a month ago. His philosophy was, “I’m a dad. That’s my job.” For his epitaph, we wrote “I was a dad. I did my job.” Because he did. He was not a perfect man. He had his troubles in life. However, he loved his daughters deeply and was proud of our accomplishments. Even when we were childish or selfish, he still loved us. He still gave of himself as he was able. He often said he only had two wishes in life: to see my sister happy and to see me happy. And, he did what he was able to help that along.

Clear View Retreat become a reality when K-pa, as Kim’s dad was affectionately known as for the last twenty-five years, wanted to support the ministry. He was the first benefactor of this nonprofit. He believed in our vision to reach families. In fact, one of the best pieces of advice we received early in our marriage, we received from him, and we share that advice at every marriage retreat we host.

As my sister and I have shared memories, I have grown to appreciate my father in a way I never did when he was living. I didn’t understand him as my sister did. This period of mourning and grief has brought me a deeper gratitude for the man who wanted my happiness and desired to bring smiles to people’s faces by sharing his love of music, organization, motivational sayings, and more. Our perspective shifts as life tumbles forward.

In reality, grief and gratitude coincide. Think of Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” We don’t think of those things happening in the same day, but for true healing in the grief journey to occur, they should be occurring together – though maybe not always in the same day, of course.

Grief in having left necessary things unsaid, but gratitude in knowing that my father forgave me and gratitude for my heavenly father’s forgiveness. Grief in the loss of our earthly fellowship but gratitude for the time we had. Grief in misunderstandings in life but gratitude for clarifications given after his death. Grief in the memories and gratitude for the memories.

We must never forget that Jesus wept and that Matthew 5:4 tells us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

In grief we feel these following verses:

Psalm 142:2 I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.

Psalm 13:2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

Psalm 31:9 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

And Lamentations 5:20 Why do you continually forget us, abandon us for our entire lives?

 

But in gratitude we hold tight to:

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 23:1-6 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me

Ephesians 5:20 Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ

And 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

God knows we ache for the smiles, laughs, hugs, and even frustrating moments of our loved ones when they have died. He knows that our hearts are broken and that our minds go into overdrive. God knows that we need the comfort of family, friends, and the Holy Spirit. He knows that we will fail to grieve well at times, but He is still holding us.

If you have experienced the death of a loved one like we did recently, we pray that their memory will be a blessing to you. Thank you for joining us this morning. Be blessed!

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.

Grief and Gratitude

Good morning, Five Minute Families. We have replayed the three grief devotions that Kim wrote three years ago after the death of her stepfather in order to give our family time to grieve the loss of her father, Ken Willis.

My father died almost a month ago. His philosophy was, “I’m a dad. That’s my job.” For his epitaph, we wrote “I was a dad. I did my job.” Because he did. He was not a perfect man. He had his troubles in life. However, he loved his daughters deeply and was proud of our accomplishments. Even when we were childish or selfish, he still loved us. He still gave of himself as he was able. He often said he only had two wishes in life: to see my sister happy and to see me happy. And, he did what he was able to help that along.

Clear View Retreat become a reality when K-pa, as Kim’s dad was affectionately known as for the last twenty-five years, wanted to support the ministry. He was the first benefactor of this nonprofit. He believed in our vision to reach families. In fact, one of the best pieces of advice we received early in our marriage, we received from him, and we share that advice at every marriage retreat we host.

As my sister and I have shared memories, I have grown to appreciate my father in a way I never did when he was living. I didn’t understand him as my sister did. This period of mourning and grief has brought me a deeper gratitude for the man who wanted my happiness and desired to bring smiles to people’s faces by sharing his love of music, organization, motivational sayings, and more. Our perspective shifts as life tumbles forward.

In reality, grief and gratitude coincide. Think of Ecclesiastes 3:4 “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” We don’t think of those things happening in the same day, but for true healing in the grief journey to occur, they should be occurring together – though maybe not always in the same day, of course.

Grief in having left necessary things unsaid, but gratitude in knowing that my father forgave me and gratitude for my heavenly father’s forgiveness. Grief in the loss of our earthly fellowship but gratitude for the time we had. Grief in misunderstandings in life but gratitude for clarifications given after his death. Grief in the memories and gratitude for the memories.

We must never forget that Jesus wept and that Matthew 5:4 tells us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

In grief we feel these following verses:

Psalm 142:2 I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him.

Psalm 13:2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

Psalm 31:9 Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted from grief; my soul and my body also.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

And Lamentations 5:20 Why do you continually forget us, abandon us for our entire lives?

 

But in gratitude we hold tight to:

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 23:1-6 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me

Ephesians 5:20 Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ

And 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

God knows we ache for the smiles, laughs, hugs, and even frustrating moments of our loved ones when they have died. He knows that our hearts are broken and that our minds go into overdrive. God knows that we need the comfort of family, friends, and the Holy Spirit. He knows that we will fail to grieve well at times, but He is still holding us.

If you have experienced the death of a loved one like we did recently, we pray that their memory will be a blessing to you. Thank you for joining us this morning. Be blessed!

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.

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