Good morning, Five Minute Families. Our church just had a missions Sunday. Kim and I were blessed to come share about God’s work here at Clear View Retreat. While we are much more comfortable chatting on the couch down at the Lodge than standing behind the podium, looking at the differences in the numerous people sitting in front us got us thinking about family identity and individual identity in the context of serving.

For example, here at CVR we encourage the whole family to come out and serve together for service events or ministry events. Yet, what about the mother who is passionate about helping at the crisis pregnancy center because of her own difficult past whose children are not yet old enough to participate in serving at the center? What about the father who loves to work on cars and helps the widows and other families in need whose child is disabled and would never be able to serve alongside dad in that capacity?

It may seem like a collision of family identity versus individual identity, and it could be, if a family let it. However, we suggest that the one anothering verses come strongly into play here, and that supporting one another in serving despite not being able to serve alongside one another is vastly important to the better balanced and more God-honoring family identity.

All of us have heard stories about how having just one supportive person in our lives, especially as child, can make a fundamental change in the quality of that person’s life. Now, obviously, we are not speaking materialistically here, we are talking about the realization of self-esteem and importance in God’s kingdom. He could do all of everything alone, but he includes us, and when we see our worth, we are infinitely more capable of giving Him all the glory and working even harder to bring Him honor. So, that individual who has prayed and feels God’s call to a specific serving mission must be recognized and supported. Remember 1 Peter 4:10 – “Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God.”

Working on being a godly, a Christ-following family with a strong God-centered family identity will take intentionality with the balance of individual identity, especially in serving. So, we suggest these five guidelines to get you started:

First, confirm with your spouse or parent before committing to serve without them. Communicate clearly your personal desires and listen well when your spouse or children respond with their needs and desires. Make sure to always find common ground. Encourage one-another to serve.  Mission is a foundation of the Christian identity and a biblical mandate not to be taken lightly.

Then, block out time for individual serving within the larger family schedule. Ideally, having individual family members serving separately but at the same time can be the easiest to schedule. In fact, if mom and dad are going opposite directions, having grandma and grandpa or an aunt have quality time with the kiddos would be a net win for everyone.

Third, intentionally, place priorities on family time with no interruptions. Sometimes, someone is going to have to give up his or her individual serving time in order to meet the family priorities. Again, communication and cooperation. And, remember that you have to be intentional in planning on the serving and family time otherwise things will be missed.

Fourth, include your family members where you can. Instead of your going out with just the other volunteers for some fellowship time or ongoing team building time, if possible, include the whole family so that your family members are welcomed into that aspect of your life, getting to know other believers better and to feel included. A great goal is to encourage is biblical community.  We are brothers and sisters working together and are part of the greater “capital C” church.

And, fifth, make sure that you purposely schedule time together to share about your individual serving or mission work. John 17:20-26 points out that we are perfected in unity. Five-minute families, remember that God placed you together. He wants you to have a family identity, but He also created you each uniquely and wonderfully, so we each must find a way to balance our individual identities with our family identities.

Thank you for joining us for this latest Five Minute Family. Speaking of family identities, maybe this year would be a great time to explore what that looks like for your family.  Also, we always want to know what you guys and gals are interested in hearing about, so please let us know by commenting over on our facebook page at facebook.com/clearviewretreat. Be blessed!