Good morning, Five Minute Families. Does your family have a habit of holding grudges? Of punishing a loved one when he or she does something that hurts them? Those patterns are not biblical or reflect Christ, my friends.  Join us as we discuss this important topic.

We have discussed forgiveness before on the Five Minute Family, so why would we discuss it again? Well, because we continually wrong one another, and we need to be in the habit of offering grace, mercy, and forgiveness. Forgiveness is something we can continually work on and constantly need reminders and help in this area. So, why does forgiveness matter in your family?

When we are wronged, our desire is often to make the person pay for his or her mistake. However, a truly remorseful person will be in despair no matter what we try to do for revenge. For example, after being caught in his addiction to inappropriate images, a repentant husband was feeling the weight of the pain he had caused his wife and just like Paul in 2 Corinthians 1:8 said that he despaired of life itself.  He even began thinking about how to plan for the provision of his family and provide for her financially through their insurance coverages, so that he wouldn’t have to see the betrayal pain in her eyes any longer. She shares, “God had led me to 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 passage years ago when his addiction was first revealed to me. When he shared that he was distressed to the point of committing suicide, which he had never even come close to indicating before, God brought these verses back to me. I knew I had to obey Him about forgiveness – for God, for myself, and for my family.”

2 Corinthians 2:5-11 “If anyone has caused pain, he has caused pain not so much to me but to some degree—not to exaggerate—to all of you. This punishment by the majority is sufficient for that person. As a result, you should instead forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. Therefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. I wrote for this purpose: to test your character to see if you are obedient in everything. Anyone you forgive, I do too. For what I have forgiven—if I have forgiven anything—it is for your benefit in the presence of Christ, so that we may not be taken advantage of by Satan. For we are not ignorant of his schemes.”

1. Verse seven not only tells us to forgive but to give our loved one comfort. Without our family member knowing that we care about their feelings despite the pain they have caused, we will be sinfully adding to their distress or grief.
2. Verse eight reminds us to reaffirm our love for our family member. We may not have warm fuzzies at this stage, but we can love them as one of God’s family.
3. Verse nine points out how we must live out our faith in obedience, and God tells us that we are to forgive those who wrong us. A special note here, please remember, as we have said before, forgiveness does not mean a full reconciliation without any new boundaries or changes needed in the relationship for everyone’s health and wellbeing.
4. Verse ten again sets out the importance of forgiveness in our own personal relationship with the Lord. Blessings abound for families that practice God’s forgiveness.
5. Verse eleven demonstrates that we families must always keep in mind that we are not to battle against one another, that there truly is a spiritual battle happening, and we need to trust God when one of us sins and needs forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice we make no matter what our feelings are. But, more than that, forgiveness is a command we are given by our Lord. We may have to work on new patterns, new habits, new relationships after the ramifications of sinful behavior, but forgiveness is necessary for the Christian family to demonstrate at all times. If you are having trouble, begin praying for God to help you. Do an internet search on Scripture that is about forgiveness, and then meditate day and night on God’s truth about forgiveness. He will guide you.

Plan a family time, not blast your family in the face with all out entertainment, but a time to disconnect from the craziness of life and connect with God as a family.  Clear View Retreat is a great place to make that connection.  Be blessed!