TRANSCRIPT: Good morning, Five Minute Families. It is wonderful to join you again this week as we dive into one of our curriculum here at Clear View Retreat. Last week, we began the discussion about session 2 of Family Camp. If you missed the last two weeks, please go to our blog at www.clearviewretreat.org/welcome/blog. We have the audio, transcript, and an image that you can use if you desire.
Let’s jump into today. When we review in depth about intentional intimacy – which as you’ll remember is the desire to know and be known by another for the glory of God – we must understand that there are different aspects to intimacy.
Experts divide the intimacies many different ways. We choose to classify simply them in four ways: spiritual, physical, emotional, and intellectual. – I know, I know, you thought we would say five, but we don’t work everything in fives, it just seems that way sometimes.
Spiritual intimacy is not just about your relationship with God, though, of course, that is the most important relationship you will ever have. Spiritual intimacy is also about accepting your godly role in your family and fulfilling it to the best of your ability and about building your family members up in their relationships with God.
Physical intimacy is not just the obvious between husband and wife. It is the simple things of hugs and back rubs, holding hands and reassuring pats on the shoulder. Physical intimacy includes smiles instead of frowns and even the tone of voice you use on a regular basis.
Emotional intimacy begins with extending grace and mercy. Emotional intimacy involves controlling your temper when you are angry OR controlling your response when someone has an outburst in their anger. Emotional intimacy is more than just being able to share our deepest thoughts and feelings, it may also be understanding that sometimes our loved one only shares his or her deepest thoughts and feelings with the Lord.
When you play games together or learn new skills together, you and your loved one are sharing intellectual intimacy. When you challenge each other in opinions and work to understand each other’s differing points of view, you are deepening your intellectual intimacy.
Ephesians 4:2-3 encourages us “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” When we are intentional in the four areas of intimacy, we can be more united for the kingdom of Christ.
As we explore the intimacies, you must understand that each member of your family will hold different beliefs about your actions, their actions, about the Lord, and about the world around them. Romans 12:2 challenges us not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Renewing our minds is often much more difficult than we realize. Mostly because, many of us focus on behavior modification. We have all heard the adage “it takes 21 days to create a habit.” However, the reason many of us fail at behavior modification is that we are not getting to the heart of the issue. The beliefs we hold drive our thoughts, and our thoughts drive our actions. Without being intimate with the Lord and letting Him reveal our false beliefs, you can never experience the full depths of intimacy that the Lord allows in our earthly relationships. Self-evaluation is fundamental in a Five Minute Family. If you don’t know what is driving you, you will sabotage your own efforts to deepen your relationships.
Think of Anakin from Star Wars for a moment. He believed that he had to do certain things in order to save his wife and child, yet because his actions came from false beliefs, he ultimately destroys his wife in the end. So often, folks want to succeed in a relationship, but they are blinded to their own very behavior that is keeping them from thriving.
Five Minute Families, this is why we advocate self-assessment and family assessment times. We need to know what is driving us so that we can better engage in authentic, godly relationships. We start with what we know – our current family identity – and we ask questions to consider if we are really focused on the right things.
Remember, take at least five minutes a day to invest in your family members, and it will snowball into greater and deeper intentional intimacy. May God bless your week as you focus on His power and glory.
~Originally aired on WECO 95.5 fm/940 am Tues, April 28, 2020~